I’m going in.

I had a wild trip to Texas to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. I overate, like even for a normal person, and got pretty sick. Did I learn? Nope, I overate 4 days in a row. It was a physical and psychological nightmare. I returned home with a renewed commitment to eat less and lose the 4 pounds I gained. And I did. Within two days, I was back to a pound below I left for the wedding. Whew.

I was very surprised at how much my body rejected a lot of food though. It didn’t help that it was also mostly junk food.

After I returned, I went to an eating disorder center for an intake, per the recommendation of my counselor and doctor. They recommended that I start a residential program where I would be in the center 24/7 with a schedule of 1-1 and group therapies, yoga, meditation, and of course meals and snacks.

However, my insurance denied the residential program. So, though my counselor, doctor and intake therapist all recommend the residential program, I will be starting a daily program (M-F, 8am-3pm) this week. This program is something that they think I will not be successful with.

I have discovered that my providers and insurance company have opposite philosophies. My providers think I need to start with intensive treatment and then once stable/successful with that, go to the lesser treatment. Because I have never sought treatment, insurance requires me to start with lesser treatment and if it doesn’t work, go up to more intensive, with enough documentation that it’s medically necessary. It’s strange to me that insurance thinks they should make that call against what the recommendation of my providers have said.

I haven’t even started yet, but I already see why my providers think I will not be successful. I am already thinking how I will still be able to weigh myself everyday and can control everything between 3pm to 8am. But I also want to try my best. So, I’m going in.

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