Still I…Now I…

I’ve been out of residential and in outpatient treatment for approximately 3 weeks.

Still I…

  • Weigh myself every morning
  • Track calories everyday
  • Eat only Subway and Mod Pizza, and only what is “safe”, when eating out
  • Hate the way I look and think I’m fat
  • Admire JJ and LK, my two live-in intuitive eaters

Now I…

  • Look at my daughter and decide to eat
  • Eat sandwiches with two slices of bread (instead of one)
  • Eat sandwiches with one slice of cheese (instead of none)
  • Eat breakfast (most of the time)
  • Order my daughter her own plate (instead of sharing with her)
  • Eat 1100-1200 calories most days (instead of 600)
  • Weigh 119.4 (instead of 110-113 pre-treatment)

The road to recovery is paved with a lot of Still I, but the Now I gives me hope.

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